


Hassliebe

by U_Bahnstation



Category: Joyeux Noël | Merry Christmas (2005)
Genre: M/M, Suicide, Violence, World War I
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22414777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/U_Bahnstation/pseuds/U_Bahnstation
Summary: Just one mistake. Which or who - that’s the question.
Relationships: Horstmayer/Audebert
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Hassliebe

Where were they? Somewhere between love and hate. It was the feeling, which mustn’t exist. The feeling, which ruins the soul.

Horstmayer loved the Frenchman. Every time he sow Audebert, something raised at him. Something good, which made him smile, like he hasn’t done for a long time... And he didn’t want it to end.

But as he got back to his trench, all magic was away. And Horstmayer felt, how quickly and widely the anger spreads in his chest. He hated the Frenchman. For every kiss, hug, for all words he made him tell. Endless game of two feelings.

Endless? Days of piece were away, but noone wanted to start the fire. The positions were calm, and the soldiers were still having evening meals together. But how long it could last? War is war, and everything they did was against the rules. And the main thing, which was totally against them, was Karl’s relations with this French.

Karl was to end it. No doubt, that he hated Audebert. Because he was to do it. So, it was time to stop this stupid game.

Horstmayer chose the morning. One moment to end everything and to go further without any regret. While standing behind the trenches, he asked himself time after time. And the answer was “you do everything right”.

Audebert came right on time.

\- Why so early, dear? Has anything happen?

\- I have one case, which I want to solve. And I need you for it.

Audebert smiled with his soft smile.

\- I’m ready to help.

Karl Daniel sighed slowly and than hugged the Frenchman around the waist with the right hand and drew closer to himself. Audebert let him do it without any resistance. A lock of hair fell over his forehead. Oh, how beautiful he was at this moment! And how Karl hated him now!

\- I’m sorry, Camille. But it will be right...

The Frenchman broke away from contemplating his face and looked down. The gunpoint was closely put to his chest. He looked up to Karl’s eyes again.

\- Wait, are you joking? What are you...

Horstmayer just shook his head. And pulled the trigger.

Audebert swayed some times as if in indecision and fell hardly. Karl looked at the body for some moments and kneeled near it. In opened Camille’s eyes he could still see the question “why?”

Why?... Horstmayer grinned sadly. Did he really hate him? Some minutes earlier he would answer “yes” without any doubt. But did he REALLY...? Horstmayer tried to expel this question out of his head. Audebert’s dead eyes were looking with insult.

\- Don’t look at me like this! - whispered Karl Daniel.

But Camille’s face didn’t change. White snow under his back was slowly becoming red. The German winced and covered the wound on his chest with a hand. There was no reason for it, but Horstmayer felt it to be important. He touched Camille’s fingers and it recalled too much in his memory. All these minutes together, all their touches and kisses, sometimes gentle, sometimes harsh, but every time with the feeling, that it was the last one. Always with sense of fear, that someone could mention, that they do something wrong, but don’t want it to end... Now it was to the end. 

Karl recalled everything. Love, fear, hate, which came after every date and was so deep, that he couldn’t understand, if he hated Audebert of himself... “Himself” - answered the heart at the moment, he was looking at Camille’s eyes. “Audebert” - said it, when he was sitting in the trench.

“Himself” - claimed it now, while Karl was holding the French’s hand. Did Audebert feel the same? Or was he... the German tried to find the word. “Better” - prompted his heart. Audebert’s dead eyes were not giving the answer. They were looking with conviction.

Horstmayer closed his face with hands. Where did he make a mistake? Where was that point, after which he decided to do that he has done? He tried to find some reasons in Audebert’s behavior. But cloud recall only warm smiles, the Frenchman was giving him every time they met. Smiles, laugh, nice smirks, when Horstmayer was saying something in German not because he didn’t know the word in French, but to make it more sensible. Audebert did nothing wrong!

Karl sighed. Not Audebert, it was he! He made a mistake... Everything he did these days was so ambiguous, so insincere, so low, so... unworthy to Camille. He felt like the greatest sinner near the dead saint. Not just dead, but killed by himself.

The German glanced in a horror at Camille’s face. His eyes were looking with... love. Karl drew back. All this time HE was a mistake. He ruined everything and there was no chance to recover it. Or to make the right step. If only...

Karl pull out the gun. 

-I’m sorry, dear. - he kissed Audebert’s cheek, - but this time it will be RIGHT. 

He put the gun to his temple.

\- At any rate, - he smiled, - I won’t be able to regret...

Early morning air was split with one more shot.


End file.
